Archives for 2007 March ~ Dead Man Walking

Archive for March, 2007

Road Rage or Mafia Tail?

Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2007 17:11:51 -0400

Paranoia in my situation is good - it’s what keeps you on your toes, and keeps you alive. But what just happened is not paranoia. I have either been chased by some random psycho or I was been tailed…

I had a few errands to run, so I was driving through Downtown Brooklyn when some jerk-off gets right up my ass in an Escalade. Now, so what? That’s driving in New York every day, a f*ckin’ rat race. But I had this guy up my ass, bumper to bumper like some psycho halfway across Brooklyn when I finally lost him down Old Fulton St.

I tried to get a look at the guy driving through my rearview but it was impossible. I’ve got no idea where this sonovabitch came from, if he was following me or for how long. I’d understand it if I cut the guy up but I didn’t… so I’m a little spooked…

Still, unless I see the car again I guess I’ll never know.

No, I’m Not Dead

Date: Thu, 22 Mar 2007 17:11:26 -0400

I apologize for my absense and I really appreciate all of the e-mails I have been receiving, and I know many of you were concerned about my wellbeing. Quite a lot has happened recently, as I will now explain.

A few days after my last blog entry, I relocated. I feel I had become too familiar with the people in the apartment building, so I had to get out. I now live a few blocks away, and will be making sure I keep myself to myself 100%.

I have given it a little thought and have decided I will soon be be opening up Dead Man Walking to private advertising in a bid to boost revenue, having already received some very nice offers to do so. I will post more on this in the coming days along with information on how you can advertise your website here.

Also coming will be a range of special customized Dead Man Walking merchandise such as T-Shirts, Posters and Mugs which will be for sale in the merchandise section.

At the time of writing I have 56 days remaining, and will be trying with all my might to conjure up this money before my time runs out.

If God loves me, he can buy a T-Shirt.

Maybe It’s Too Late

Date: Thu, 08 Mar 2007 13:52:49 -0500

Today I’m depressed. Yesterday I called my two daughters and talked to them, and wished my eldest a happy birthday. It was really hard hearing their voices and it’s tearing me apart to think that I may never see them again under normal circumstances.

I also went to my neighbors birthday party - coincidently, she shares the same birthday as my daughter - which, despite everything, was fun. I met more people from the apartment building, and being the new guy I was made to feel welcome. It almost seemed like it was my party, not that my neighbor cared; she seemed to be more interested in me than she was in her own birthday party.

Although I had to tell a lot of lies about myself and my personal life, I was still me, so I didn’t feel so dishonest. I made the decision not to stay for too long so I didn’t get in too deep, but what I did experience made me feel like a real person again for the first time since I went into hiding, which is another reason I’m depressed.

I simply can’t allow myself to become involved. No matter how much I want a regular life now, I know I can’t have one. There is still a very strong chance that I’m going to have to go into the federal Witness Protection Program very soon, so what’s the point in making friends and a life I can’t keep?

It’s just not fair. I’m doing everything I can but it’s just such a struggle and it’s still not enough. I’m holding down a job which I get paid cash for, I’m on elance.com taking on all the web design projects I can and I’m trying to make this blog earn more money… I just wonder how much longer I can keep this up before I face what looks to be the inevitable and call the FBI?

Goddamnit! Why Did I Say ‘Yes’? (A Typical Scenario A Man On The Run Should Avoid At All Costs)

Date: Sun, 04 Mar 2007 23:35:21 -0500

Today I did something very stupid and broke the first and most important rule a guy like me must follow: Avoid becoming involved with anyone.

The first thing you learn when you are on the run is to keep yourself to yourself. This is something I have done ever since I went into hiding and is the most important rule to follow. This comes at the expense of developing friendships and relationships, but it’s a sacrifice which must be made. Your guard must remain up and your secrets must remain secret.

Familiarity is a bad thing, but that is what comes of greater interaction. With familiarity comes the requests for your company to socialize and you potentially open yourself up to a whole lot of awkward questions or situations.

Well, I’ve just broken this golden rule. Tonight I ran into a woman who lives in an apartment down the hall from mine who I’m on speaking terms with. Really nothing more than ‘hello, good morning, how are you?’ that kind of thing. Well, I’ve just found myself accepting an invitation to her birthday party she’s having in a couple of days in her apartment with others from the building. This is exactly the kind of situation I’ve been trying to avoid but I was caught completely off guard. You know, one of them conversations where you basically tell the other person your available without realizing and before you know it - it’s too late and you have no excuse to say no… Jeez.

She’s a nice person and I would have felt like a nasty sonovabitch saying no but now I can’t back out because the last thing I need is to become known as the resident jerk-off and have negative attention on me. Maybe I’m worrying too much, but I have to be real careful. I had also better make sure I have some pre-conceived answers to the usual questions: Where I’m from, what do I do, that kind of thing.

I should’ve been sharper, but it’s too late this time. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Godfather vs. Father

Date: Sat, 03 Mar 2007 12:45:25 -0500

Life on the run can really screw you up. These past few days have been tough for me, real tough. I still have a long way to go and time is running out for me as every day I spend in hiding on my own becomes more and more dangerous.

I’ve been so wrapped up in trying to get money that I almost forgot that my eldest daughters birthday is just around the corner, which made me feel like a terrible father. Thankfully I did remember in time and have sent her a present and I’ll be dropping a dime to tell her I love her and wish her happy birthday in a couple of days. I just wish I could have been there…

I’m on the ropes but I refuse to give in. I won’t let these bastards win. The Mafia is no match for a fathers love for his children.

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